When you mess up or sin, are you repentant or do you just say you’re sorry? Are you the person who is always sorry for the same things? You know….you lose your temper, you’re sorry. You cheat on your spouse…you’re sorry. You yell at your children…you’re sorry. After you “say” you’re sorry, you wait maybe a day, two weeks, three months and then you do the same exact things you previously apologized for. As a result, you find yourself apologizing…again, for the same thing.
If this is you, saying you’re sorry has gotten to be very convenient because what it does is it puts a band-aid on the wound for the moment. However, you have failed to transform your mind, heart, and spirit; you have not shifted your mindset. Therefore, your behavior has not changed and you will continue to behave this way due to the fact that you are not repentant.
Transform Your Mindset
Being sorry and being repentant involves two totally different attitudes. Being sorry simply means that you don’t like the way things are going right now. It’s based off the present or what’s going on at the present time. Being sorry means you feel bad about how your behavior has negatively affected the person who you offended, but has your heart changed or have you examined how you think or what you believe?
Sometimes, people are sorry because they are afraid of the consequences. For instance, when my daughters are yelling at each other (which they often do being that they are 9 and 4 years old) and I tell them to apologize, they will mostly oblige my request. However, the only reason why I know they apologized is because I asked them to. They didn’t have a change of heart nor did they really want to do it because, in their minds, they didn’t have anything to apologize for.
When one “feels sorry,” it’s based on an emotion and it won’t be long before you go back to what you were doing wrong. But when you repent, true transformation takes place. Your moral purpose changes because you acknowledge the sin, why it was wrong and identify steps you will take to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.
In Acts 2:38, Peter spoke of the repentance when he said, “repent to God (not to man) and your heart and mind will be renewed and then you will walk a new walk with God as your leader. See, being sorry is just a mere step towards repentance. It’s not the cure for the wrongdoing.
When we mess up and sin against our spouses, children, co-workers, etc., we are more quick to say we are sorry. But being or feeling sorry just isn’t good enough. Focus on being repentant. You must ask that person for forgiveness and realize the consequences of your actions. Be truly convicted of your actions.
Take time to self-reflect, examine your behavior, and lean on God’s understanding for guidance. Peace and abundant blessings.
Your Personal Development Coach,